wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
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I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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