Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
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theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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