STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
