I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
