possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
