I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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