That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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