I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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