He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize