Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
