Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
COCAINE IS GR8
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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