it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
