worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
