If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
