I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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