Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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