i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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