try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i need some magic done to my vagina
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
