all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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