Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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