im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
