the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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