well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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