You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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