that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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