I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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