I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
