Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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