all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
