It's Friday. Sex?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
