Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize