omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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