It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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