what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
