my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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