ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
