it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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