after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
this is an emotional support booty call
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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