I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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