Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
