just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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