I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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