there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize