You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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