What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
