i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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