I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
