The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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