Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
