So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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