weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
