And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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