I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
wow bdsm is so cute
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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