i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
