i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
