I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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