So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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