My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
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