Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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