How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
did i just pee glitter
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
