super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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