i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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